I'll Think of You
by Linwe Arcamenel
Summary: Every night, when the stars came out, Wilfred Mott looked up at the sky, and thought of a man traveling the stars in a big blue box. But some nights, he did just a little bit more. One shot.


Wilfred Mott let out a sigh as he set his telescope case down on the ground, puffing for air. The walk up the hill in and of itself was not bad, but when one added a telescope, a folding chair, a blanket, and a large thermos of tea into the mix, the trip became a bit much for a man in his early eighties. He still made it though. Almost every night.

Setting the thermos of tea off to the side, Wilf knelt down and deposited his other burdens on the ground. He undid the latches on the case, pulling out the tripod first and setting it up. Next came the telescope, which he carefully affixed to the tripod, and then lastly he picked up the chair from beside the case, set it up, and took his place. With one eye he looked through the scope, carefully adjusting it until the heavens came into focus. Wilf smiled. And as he did – as he did every night – he spared a thought for a man in a blue box, somewhere out there among the stars. He hoped that wherever he was, the Doctor was safe, and happy.

Wilf sat back and reached for his thermos. It was a chilly night, and the steam rising from the mug in waves was pleasantly warm against his face. He shook out the plaid blanket with his other hand and spread it over his knees before wrapping both his hands around the thermos and taking a sip. He smiled again. Donna had made the tea for him, before heading up to her room for another marathon phone session with who knew which one of her friends. He felt a pang of regret at that, remembering a time when Donna had had better things to do than spend the whole night chatting away on her mobile.

Wilf sighed and leaned forward to put his eye to the telescope again. He swept it slowly to the side, searching for the stars of Orion's Belt.

Just then, he heard a noise. A low _woosh_ , like a rush of air. For half a moment, his mind dismissed it as nothing more than the wind. But as it rose in intensity, Wilf realized that there was only one thing in the universe that made a sound like that. He spun around in his seat as the Tardis huffed one last time and materialized fully on the hillside behind him. Wilf smiled broadly and jumped to his feet.

"Doctor!" he cried joyfully.

As he rushed toward the Tardis, the door creaked open and the Doctor appeared, dressed in his long brown coat and pinstripe suit. He stepped out oddly tentatively, glancing about to the sides as he did. Wilf reached him and clapped the Time Lord on the back, taking one of his hands and pumping it up and down enthusiastically, grinning like an idiot all the while. "Oh, it's good to see you again!"

The Doctor smiled back.

"Good to see you too, Wilf," he said. Then he glanced past him again, toward the house. "Is it… alright for me to be here?"

"Alright?" Wilf scoffed. Then he followed the Doctor's gaze. "Ah. Yeah, I reckon it'll be fine. Donna comes up to sit with me some nights, but she's busy at the moment. I don't think we're likely to see her."

The Doctor nodded absently. "And you don't mind? I'm not intruding, am I?"

"Intruding? No, of course not! No! You're always welcome here, Doctor. What do you need?"

"I'm not sure," the Doctor said, looking past Wilf again. "I think… I think I just need… someone to be with, for a little while." He looked back at Wilf, and there was a tightness around his eyes. "I don't want to be alone right now."

Wilf nodded, feeling the smile fade from his lips. "Sure," he said. "Sure, we can fix that. Just..." Wilf glanced behind him, at the one chair sitting before his telescope, and then down toward the house, where Donna was. "Here, you just wait here for a minute. I'll pop down to the house and grab you a chair, and you can stay as long as you want."

The Doctor smiled gratefully, though it didn't touch that tightness in his eyes. "Thank you," he said.

"Sure," Wilf said, nodding again. He turned away, not taking his eyes off the Time Lord until the last moment, then hurried down the hill in the direction of the house. When he reached it he entered as quietly as he could, hoping that his trip back down might go unnoticed. No such luck. Sylvia was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of tea.

"You're back already?" she noted, surprised.

"Just forgot my chair," Wilf lied. He started toward the hall closet where the other folding chairs were stored, but stopped. The kettle was still on the stove, and the water wouldn't quite be cold yet. He went to the stove and turned the burner back on, giving it a moment to reheat while he rummaged in the closet for a second chair. He pulled it out and slung it over his shoulder, then went back to the kitchen and grabbed a second thermos.

" _And_ your tea?" Sylvia asked skeptically.

"It's cold out there tonight, Sylvia," Wilf said. "Can't have too much tea."

"How long are you planning to stay out?"

"I don't know," Wilf replied honestly.

The water hadn't quite got back to boiling yet, but it was close enough, and Wilf hated to keep the Time Lord waiting any longer. He popped a tea bag in the thermos, poured the steaming water over it, and screwed on the lid. Then he made his way back out through the kitchen and up the hill.

The Doctor was still there when Wilf returned, fiddling idly with the focus on the telescope. He straightened as he noticed Wilf approaching.

"Here you are then," Wilf said, holding out the thermos of tea toward the Time Lord. "Brought you this. Chilly out here tonight."

"Thank you," the Doctor said, accepting the tea with a smile.

Wilf busied himself setting up the second chair next to his own, then stepped out of the way and let the Doctor sit down. He went back to his own chair, turning it slightly so he could face his guest, then sat back down as well.

The Doctor leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees, and blew gently over the mouth of the mug held in his hands, sending steam swirling out in front of him. Wilf reclaimed his own mug and took a sip. He sighed and sat back in his chair, looking up at the stars in the night sky. There was not a cloud in sight, which doubtless contributed to the chill trying to creep its way through the blanket to reach him. But it did make a perfect night for stargazing. He looked back down at the Doctor. He was staring down the hill toward the lights of Chiswick below them, taking another sip of tea.

"How's Donna?" the Time Lord finally asked, turning away from the lights to look back at Wilf.

"Good," Wilf replied. "Good. Well, not as good as… well, before. But she's… she's good. Got another job. Full time position, this time, not just temp work."

"Good," the Doctor replied. "Good." He blew on his tea again, then took a sip, eyes drifting back out toward nothing. Wilf bit his lip.

"What about you?" he asked. "Still on your own out there, or…?"

The Doctor nodded silently.

Wilf shook his head. "That's not good for you, Doctor. Being alone. You need someone."

The Doctor laughed a little and looked back at Wilf, smiling a sad, twisted smile. "Donna said that too, you know. First time I met her. Said sometimes I need someone to stop me." He let his eyes drop, contemplating the thermos in his hands for a moment. "She was right," he said. He tilted his head back and drank.

Wilf drummed his fingers against his own thermos and looked away. His eyes drifted over toward his half-forgotten telescope, still pointed toward Orion.

"Sorry," the Doctor said, drawing Wilf's gaze back. The Time Lord smiled apologetically. "I'm not very good company right now, am I?"

"That's alright," Wilf assured him. "I don't mind."

The Doctor nodded absently and took another sip of tea.

Wilf watched him quietly for a moment. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently. The Doctor looked up, a question in his eyes. Wilf shrugged. "Something's eating at you."

The Doctor looked away again, out toward Chiswick. He clenched his jaw and rolled the thermos back and forth between his hands, saying nothing. Wilf took another sip of tea and waited. The wind gusted slightly, causing the bare branches on the trees above them to sway. One of the old trees creaked loudly in protest.

"I saved someone I shouldn't have," the Doctor said at last, still looking at Chiswick.

"What do you mean 'shouldn't have'?" Wilf asked skeptically. "Seems to me saving someone is saving someone, and that's a good thing," he said, giving the Doctor a light nudge on the arm.

The Doctor glanced back at him, smiling that tight smile again. "It's… complicated." He paused, tapping his fingers against his mug, eyes thoughtful, then looked up again. "There are fixed points in time. Events that simply _have_ to happen. You can try all you want to change them, but it never works. For whatever reason, the universe _needs_ those events. And it won't be denied." There was a cold intensity behind the Doctor's eyes as he said this that sent a chill down Wilf's spine. "The woman I saved – her death was a fixed point."

Wilf frowned. "But you did it? You actually saved her? Changed one of those... fixed points?"

"No," the Doctor said. He looked away again. "She killed herself." He worked his lips for a moment. "Universe is back on track." The bitterness in his voice was painful.

"There now, that's not your fault then," Wilf said. "You did your best."

The Doctor sighed and straightened, rubbing his eyes with one hand. "No, it's not just that," he said. He met Wilf's eyes and opened his mouth wordlessly for a moment, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "I… lost it for a little bit back there."

Wilf frowned. "How do you mean?"

The Doctor shook his head. "I stopped caring. About time, about the universe, about her. It wasn't about saving her, it was about me, imposing my will on the universe. Making it work for _me_." He looked down at his thermos again, giving it a little swirl. "I think, in the end, that's why she killed herself. Not to fix time, or save the universe, or anything like that." He looked back up, eyes pained. "Because I frightened her."

Wilf just watched him, mouth hanging open a little with no words coming out, trying to imagine it. "I'm sorry," he said at last. The Doctor just nodded, looking down at his tea. Then he took a deep breath and straightened.

"Donna would've stopped me," he said. "If she'd been there."

Wilf chuckled, causing the Time Lord to regard him with a look of mild surprise. "Not likely," Wilf said. "With that big heart of hers? She'd have been egging you on to save her, laws of the universe or no."

That got the Doctor to smile again. "You know, you might be right about that," he said. He raised an eyebrow. "She ever tell you about the time we went to Pompeii?"

"You took my granddaughter to _Pompeii?_ " Wilf demanded.

"Well, not on _purpose_ ," the Doctor replied quickly. "I was aiming for Rome, I just sort of… missed. Anyway. She was furious with me the entire time." He smiled fondly, rolling his thermos between his palms. "Wanted to get a big _bell_ and warn the whole town."

Wilf chuckled. "There you go," he said. "That's her."

The Doctor shared his smile for a moment. Then it faded. "Still," he said. "She'd have kept me from going… wherever it was I went."

"Yeah. She would have," Wilf agreed. He nudged the Doctor's arm again. "Still. You're back now. That's the important part, eh?"

The Doctor looked at him a moment, tapping a finger against his mug. "I suppose," he agreed at last.

"There now, that's it," Wilf said encouragingly. "Chin up. One foot in front of the other."

The Doctor smiled and looked back out toward Chiswick. "It's a beautiful view you've got up here," he commented.

Wilf looked down at the twinkling lights of the town. "Yeah, I suppose it is," he said. "I guess I don't much pay attention to that when I'm up here. Too busy looking at that," he said, pointing up at the sky.

The Doctor glanced from Wilf to his telescope, then up at the sky. "Well. That's a pretty good view, too, to be sure."

Wilf grinned. "Not quite as close as you're used to seeing 'em, though, eh?"

The Doctor smiled, looking back down at Wilf. "Sometimes they look better from farther away," he said. "They have this nasty habit of being on fire when you get too close."

Wilf laughed. "Hoo, I'll bet. Here," he said, tapping the Doctor on the arm and gesturing energetically toward the telescope. "Let me show you."

The Doctor sat up and Wilf made a few quick adjustments to the telescope, finally getting it focused in on Orion's belt.

"There you go," Wilf said. "Take a look!"

The Doctor leaned forward and set his eye against the eyepiece. He looked through it for a moment, then grinned and glanced back up at the constellation with his naked eye.

"Oh, very nice," the Doctor said. He cocked his head to the side, examining the telescope. "This is a fairly old telescope for the image quality, isn't it?" He speculated. "It's, what, a 1960's model?" He ran a finger down the side of it, then touched his finger to his tongue. His eyebrows rose. "1969. Good year for a telescope, I suppose, what with the moon landing and all."

Wilf felt his own eyebrows rising. "You can really tell that from the _taste_?"

The Doctor grinned. "I'm _very_ good," he said. "It's in terribly good condition, considering."

Wilf smiled. "I take good care of her, I do," he said, giving the telescope an affectionate pat. "My pride and joy, right there. Well, one of them."

The Doctor smiled. "May I?" he asked, reaching toward the focus.

"Please," Wilf said, gesturing. "Be my guest."

The Doctor set his eye to the eyepiece again and swung the telescope toward a different part of the sky. He glanced up a moment to get his bearings, then made a slight adjustment and fiddled the focus slightly. He leaned back and gestured for Wilf to look. Wilf leaned forward and obliged.

The Doctor had focused it in on a seemingly random star off in space. Wilf looked up to get his bearings, but the star was thoroughly insignificant as far as Wilf could tell.

"That's Xion," the Doctor explained. "Donna and I visited one of its planets, once. Place called Midnight, made entirely out of diamond."

"I remember!" Wilf said. He pointed. "She called us from there!" Wilf looked through the telescope again at the bright little dot off in the vastness of space. He let out a low whistle. "Hard to imagine," he said. "My little Donna. All the way out there."

He leaned back, looking out at the star with just his eyes, trying to get a sense of the scale. The two of them sat there for a moment, side by side, looking up at the stars. Then a voice called out from down by the house.

"Grandad? Are you still up there?"

They turned their heads. Wilf could just barely see Donna's head leaning out the door. He glanced quickly toward the Tardis, and to his relief realized that the Doctor had parked it over by the shed, where it wouldn't be visible from down below. In the darkness on the hilltop, Donna probably couldn't tell there was anyone else with him up here.

"It's getting late you know!" Donna called. "You'd better come back in before you catch a cold out there!"

Wilf met the Doctor's eyes.

"I'd better go," the Time Lord said.

"Yeah," Wilf said regretfully. "I guess you'd better had."

"Grandad!" Donna called again.

"Coming, Donna!" Wilf called over his shoulder.

The Doctor stood up, folding his chair, and Wilf did the same. He held out a hand and took the chair from the Doctor.

Donna's voice called from the house again. "You need help carrying anything down?"

"No, that's alright, sweetheart, I've got it!" Wilf called back down the hill. He turned to find that the Doctor had already stepped away, heading for the Tardis. Wilf hurried after him.

"You going to be alright now?" Wilf asked.

The Doctor turned back at the Tardis door. He gave Wilf a small smile. "Yeah. I think so."

Wilf eyed him critically for a moment, then nodded. "You come back any time you need to, you hear? I might not be able to go with you, but that doesn't mean you've got to be alone all the time. You need someone to talk to, you just stop by, alright?"

The Doctor smiled again, the truest smile he'd given yet. "Thank you, Wilf. From the bottom of my hearts."

Wilf just nodded and smiled back. "Goodnight, Doctor."

"Goodnight, Wilf," the Doctor replied.

Then he pushed open the door of the Tardis and disappeared inside. Wilf watched for a few moments as nothing happened. Then the dull, huffing roar of the Tardis's engines started, and the impossible box started fading in and out of sight until, with one last wheeze, it disappeared entirely. Only then did Wilf turn away. Slowly, he packed up his things, and made his way back down the hill.


End file.
